I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize