this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
