So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
