I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How naked do you want me to be?
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