its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize