So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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