Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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