I just threw up on my dentist
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
