only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's blow job season.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
