the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Screwed.edu
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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