I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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