he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
