I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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