So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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