Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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