just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
