Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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