you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
