battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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