We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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