hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
