..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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