Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
