why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You took a bar mat shot.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
