okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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