Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
