She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
