no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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