I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
