Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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