I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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