I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
