his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
