Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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