weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
