i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just found puke in my bra..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
