Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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