awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
