i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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