STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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