Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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