I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
