In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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