I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
