I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
