I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
