just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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