Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
