Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
