I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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