at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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