she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
