Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
