Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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