Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
