8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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