I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
