She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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