I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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