my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
