hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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