Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
