she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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