Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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