I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
