i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize