with your own penis?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
