Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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