I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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