There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
