I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
