Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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